Happiness is…

…found in the space of the current moment. It can be nowhere else.

Love and light,

Day 26 of #Write31Days2016


After being sick last week, I returned to swimming.


And ow…

Life’s like that.

Love and light,

Day 25 of #Write31Days2016


My pursuit of the here and now leaves me less and less interested in writing about the past. Or really spending a lot of time ruminating or processing.

Here is my now. A warmed up piece of Reeses peanut butter cup banana bread with melting butter.

Peace and love,

Day 24 of #Write31Days2016


Rest. For the win.

Love and Peace,

Day 21 of #Write31Days2016

Sunday Night Brain Noise

scribblesThe weather has been weird. Typical fall I guess? After lovely chilly weather, it’s gotten warm and muggy again. It was falling to highs in the low sixties, and rumor has it that it will be in the 80s tomorrow. Ugh. Had to turn the AC back on. No sleep for me without it.

I have nothing to talk about really. I can whine about my weight (I’ve hurtled off the low-carb train temporarily), or my lethargy (helps if I exercise), or being busy at work (who isn’t? And who can really complain about company growth causing more work?). So, none of that. This is more about me trying to stick with “using my words” on a regular basis. Even when I don’t want to.

Had a super overdue lunch with the BFF today, along with a lovely walk. Did various chores at home, and am now sitting quietly enjoying some alone time. There’s just really not a ton to talk about.

A few perusals of Facebook seemed to make me more cranky than anything, so I put that away. So much crazy out there. Wowzas. TMI.

Perhaps tomorrow I will have something more meaningful to say. Perhaps.

Love and Light,

Day 16 of #Write31Days2016

No Complaints

stop-whiningHeard a new perspective today on complaining. It’s actually an attempt by the ego to feel superior. It’s a way for my brain, my ego, to decide that I’m too good for something, or I’m now better than another because of some perceived slight.

I don’t realize how much of my regular conversation is some form of complaint, until I try to be aware and stop doing it. And I’m not the only one. All I have to do is look at a the Facebook feed and immediately I am inundated by outrage and venting sessions. It’s really not a pleasant thing to be around. Even if it makes me feel better, I can’t imagine that energy I’m putting out is positive.

Acceptance of reality, gratitude for the good that is, and an active awareness of the current moment. These are the things I’m making a priority in my life. Habits of thought are very hard to break, but if I’m not going to do it, who will?

Love and peace,

Day 15 of #Write31Days2016

My Brain Hurts

brain-electricitySometimes, when I sit down to write, my mind just goes completely blank. Earlier today I had a couple ideas of what I wanted to write about, but now that it’s evening, I’m not even sure that writing matters. Deep down I know that’s not true. Sticking with writing is good work. It’s healthy for my attempt at character development (my own).

I’m still in sort of a state of numb shock by the political atmosphere right now. I have felt a lot of distress over a radio personality who made huge pompous statements mocking the idea of not having “consent” in a sexual situation is a leftest “libtard” idea. My god. We’re not even talking about kindness, consideration, manners, or basic human respect. We are sinking the the lowest of the low in terms of human behavior. How the hell did we get here?

Of course I have my theories, but I’m not really here to talk politics, I’m here to practice putting words to the electrical storm that is my brain.

On the more positive side, I watched a lovely speech by the First Lady. She has done a lot lately to further the empowerment of young girls. I truly will miss the Obamas being in the White House. Their class and grace will be sorely missed.

If I am not careful, I can start growing a huge ball of fear in my belly over the possibility of our nations future demise should the vote next month take a disastrous turn. Do you know what I fear most? The temper tantrums of the losers. It has become entirely too “the norm” to air your deep dark dirty insides and lash out at the people around you. Our country’s leadership has turned into one huge live action reality soap opera.

I’m sick of it. (Guess who was too busy to meditate today. Can you tell??)

Ok, so I’m done for tonight. I wish I had more inspirational things to say, but tonight, it’s just not in me.

Love and peace, (even if I’m not feelin’ it, I still wish it for you, dear reader)

Day 13 of #Write31Days2016

The Space Within

I turned a corner in my meditation practice today. Continued listening to the audiobook “The Journey into Yourself” by Eckhart Tolle. I’m now able to see meditation as a positive pursuit of presence in the moment rather than a resistance to thoughts and distractions. I have always had trouble with the unpleasantness of resistance, and now this feels and works so much better.

Like looking at the starry sky at night, there are stars, and there is space. When centering during meditation, there are thoughts and then there are gaps. The gaps are where there is just “being”. “Being” not “thinking”. That “being” is me in the present moment. Now my meditation is less about pushing thoughts away and resisting them, and more about breathing and putting my attention on those gaps. The more I become aware of the gaps in thought, the bigger they become. Relaxation and peace sort of flow in and around. It feels more like relaxing my mental grasp of words and thoughts, and just resting.

I gotta tell ya. My life is currently more hectic than it has been in a long time, but somehow staying aware and awake in the present moment has given me respite. Moment by moment living is a really decent space to exist.

Love and peace,

Day 12 of #Write31Days2016

Wrangling Society-Induced Anxiety

In order to stay in the game here, I am going to try the 10 minutes of writing to keep the words flowing. I never really set a theme for this writing session. Pretty much just “Lundie’s Life” which is everything and nothing in the way of writing topics.

I don’t want to just sit and bitch about the current state of politics, though that’s pretty high on the list of topics bouncing around in my head. Hard to browse any social media without running into rants and more divisive commentary. I can’t read too much more without being ready to unfriend everyone. Although I have to say the “Bad Lip Reading” of the first debate did amuse me a great deal.

There’s not much newsworthy going on right now. Just living my life as moment to moment as I can. It’s a really interesting process to react to anxiety by letting go of thought. Returning to my breath, taking a moment to locate my hands from the inside (sit still for a moment and “feel” for where your hands are without moving them”) It’s a really nice method to just clear the mental palette and have the upper hand at discriminating thoughts – and watching feelings come and go. Inner stillness is “the bomb” as the kids say. Even now as I write, a few pauses restores mental sanity and the words free up.

I think that’s why I’m having such a hard time watching ANY news/social media lately. Everything just pushes / drives / drills so fast without reflection and response. No real thought. Everyone just talking over one another, trying to win with the perfect timing of the zinger. I watched about 3 minutes of the debate and couldn’t watch it anymore. It really started to feel like some kind of cage match, with moderators throwing meat scraps to get the blood flowing. Blech.

Time to start spending time outside watching the trees instead.

Love and peace,

Day 10 of #Write31Days2016


bummed_out_gumball_by_irock312Skipped yesterday’s writing. Ooops!

Gosh, I don’t know how I can lose so many pairs of earbuds. It makes listening to my audiobook very difficult. Today I’m still listening to “The Journey Into Yourself” by Eckhart Tolle. It’s hitting the spot.

Writing today is not coming easily, but here I am. The temps have dropped and the house was freezing this morning. First day of turning on the heat. Fall is really here. I haven’t really accepted that it’s October yet. Lately, I have been so busy with work that I don’t even know what DAY it is. So much for “present moment” eh?

So much mental block.

Need a topic. I would pick up current events and comment on those, but honestly, Trump being (undeniably) revealed as a misogynistic pig will only make me more angry. It’s been clear from early on that he’s reprehensible, but those who support him do so without a clear reason that I do not understand. News like this won’t change their minds. It’s very hard for me to not devolve into “Us” and “Them” mentality when it comes to Trump. I don’t give a shit what political party he’s part of. He’s a toxic human.

I think I need a nap.

Day 8 of #Write31Days2016