I just read a comment Kari made on Everyday Mommy’s blog in which she included this quote:
“Can any of us say we know how to pray? Many books have been written on prayer, some of them helpful. For a time I was absorbed in reading books about prayer. But in the end I discovered that the best way to learn about prayer is to pray. And the best way to pray is to become a good listener and allow the Other to speak. We all have friends who dominate the conversation. Are you that sort of friend to God? After all, ask yourself, who has the more worthwhile things to say?” – Michael Card, Scribbling in the Sand (actual quote not verified by me)
Wow. I have been complaining over the last several months to myself, to God, to the occasional listener about just how hard it is to find people that will ask you how you are doing and then take the time to listen. I tend to be one of those people that take a long time to truly open up. By the time I’m ready to share what’s really going on with me, the conversation is a million miles down the road.
So, what I’m wondering…is that how God feels? I just take a few moments here and there, ramble on, ask his opinion, but then move on to the next topic without so much as a pause in breath? Do I really take the time? Or do I rush on by so I don’t feel silly, or maybe I’m afraid He won’t answer? Maybe it’s time to give Him a chance to get a Word in edgewise…
As you may know from my 2006 Book List, I am currently reading Believing God, by Beth Moore. I am only a couple of chapters in and I have to say it goes along really well with the study I’m currently doing called The Lord’s Table.
I guess this is sort of an in-process review of the book so far. There are so many books out there right now that purport to tell you how to have a successful Christian life. I am so grateful that I have found materials to read that aren’t about what I can get out of being a Christian other than Christ. He is the only one that can fill my soul, and keep me satisfied. No earthly thing can do this.
I don’t know if anyone else has this problem, but when I learn something wonderful about God, it’s almost guaranteed that I’m gonna forget 99% of it by the next day. I guess that’s why Jesus was represented by the manna from heaven. It spoils after one day. You can’t live on yesterday’s serving. You have to get it fresh each and every single day.
Well, in order to remind myself to do just that, I am planning to join Beth (figuratively), and any of her other readers, by wearing a blue bracelet for the remainder of 2006. I want to share in the visual reminder that I am who God says I am, and that I can do all things through Christ.
Numbers 15:37-41 – God spoke to Moses: “Speak to the People of Israel. Tell them that from now on they are to make tassels on the corners of their garments and to mark each corner tassel with a blue thread. When you look at these tassels you’ll remember and keep all the commandments of God, and not get distracted by everything you feel or see that seduces you into infidelities. The tassels will signal remembrance and observance of all my commandments, to live a holy life to God. I am your God who rescued you from the land of Egypt to be your personal God. Yes, I am God, your God.”
I was journaling this evening. Furiously. It has been a rough couple of days. Some people in my life have been fighting. I am a peacemaker by nature, but I have done everything in my power to stay out of the fight this time.
It has really hit me hard. I spent the entire day today angry. Part of it is because I am isolated here at home from other adult conversation. The other part is because I felt attacked. I was being included in the fight whether I liked it or not.
So I pouted, and ate, and paced, and all sorts of not-so-healthy things that I seem to do when I’m upset.
So I journaled. That was the first healthy step I took.
Ok, to my point. I realized that as angry as I was, and as victimized as I felt, I was allowing it to happen. I was allowing the “yuck” that these people were flinging, into my home, into my mind and into my heart. That is WRONG.
I was allowing it to happen. I was sitting back, choking down my anger and frustration, and basically abusing myself (the food, the tension, etc.)
No more. I have the power of choice. I have the power to choose peace. I have the power to choose to let God handle their lives, and keep His calm and love and peace in my life.
I so choose.