The ticker will change – but for today it says 80 lbs to go.
I don’t know what took me so long, but I finally got out my Christmas CDs. I played one song and it was like the switch was flipped. It’s one that took me a while to find. It’s David Foster’s Instrumental, Carol of the Bells. I turned it on this afternoon and played about 4 times in a row, each time dancing more and more. J5 thought I was crazy at first, but by the end he was spinning in circles with me.
The first time I heard/saw it was on our honeymoon at WDW (the mouse place). A beautifully lit arched walkway in Epc*t was orchestrated to it. John and I went again in 2003 and I caught most of the show on video. I get goosebumps every time I watch it.
As of late, I find it hard to not be dismayed (disconcerted and at a loss as to how to deal with something). Depression can be like that, I guess. My soul hurts. I just don’t get it. For a couple days there, I thought I was getting it. I felt connected with God. I was connecting with some IRL friends. I was getting exercise. I was getting J5 out of the house to “socialize” (btw, can I tell you just how much I HATE that word – thrown at you from the sidelines like you’re an inadequate mother if you’re not dumping your child off at a day care for someone else to raise along with a horde of other children! …but I digress…).
I was doing what I thought was the “right” thing. And I landed flat on my face. Exhausted. J5 sick. Me in a deeper funk than ever before. Looking at the upcoming holiday celebrations with a combination of lethargy and dread. Getting increasingly angry with people that are passing on a less-than-Christ-like spirit when talking about Christmas. I honestly will be so happy when this season is over so people can get back to their regular lives and stop getting themselves all worked up over imagined religious slights. Why is it that people would rather get all worked up about terminology used to express a polite and loving greeting than spend their energy loving Christ and loving the people around them?
Honestly, what worldly good will be accomplished by trying to work up our fellow “Christians” into a fevered frenzy? Do we honestly believe our rights to be loving and Christlike in our celebration of his arrival on this planet are being trampled? Has someone come to our homes and trashed the nativity scenes on our front lawns or in our living rooms? Did someone ream us out when we quietly and genuinely wished them a Merry Christmas? (If so, did we mean it when we said it? Or were we trying to preach a hostile sermon in the way we said it – “Merry Christmas”?)
But back to the original meaning of the title of this post – dismayed. As I was trying desperately to claw my way out of this funk, I grabbed my Bible this morning and laid my head down on it and begged my Father to give me something meaningful to cling to. This was the verse that I read:
Because the Sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be dismayed. Therefore I have set my face like a stone, determined to do his will. And I know that I will triumph. Isaiah 50:7
I am going to be spending some time meditating on each of the several powerful thoughts in this verse. I so intensely wish this was true for me.
Just want to wish all of you a very Happy Thanksgiving!
We hosted the Fathers’ Day BBQ at our house on Saturday. We had a wonderful time! It was a little toasty, but it was really nice to have everyone together. And without further ado, I would like to honor the Fathers in my life.
I am so very blessed to have such a wonderful family who all get along so very well together! I just wish we lived a little closer together.
HAPPY FATHERS’ DAY!
My Mothers’ Day morning started with J4 getting up with J5 and allowing me to sleep in. (Heaven!) Then I got a beautiful Vermont Teddy Bear from J5 (thanks for helping him, Daddy). Those bears are awesome! I’ve collected Teddy Bears over the years and this is one awesome bear – which comes with a lifetime guarantee. If he ever gets damaged, you can send him to the bear “hospital” and he’ll get all better!
This afternoon we will be spending with the in-laws. I hope all of you have a relaxing, family-filled Mom’s Day!
|And I would like to wish a Happy Mothers’ Day to my Mom. Here’s a picture of her with J5. (Thanks for all the help last weekend, Mom – you guys were AWESOME!!)|