Rebirthing

Rebirthing, Skillet

I have once again realized that I’d lost my music.

This song is bringing it back.

It fits.

…chaos…

I don’t even know why I am posting. I want to have something to say, but my head is so full of the events of this week.

God is faithful. I am not.

I have been shaken. I have fallen. I am still standing, but only by the grace of my God.

He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along.
Psalm 40:2

I am still struggling with the concept of a vow to God. I am not capable of keeping it perfectly, but does that mean I should not make one? That I should not aim to be true to Him?

Had bouts with fear this week on so many levels. Including, but not limited to, a man who came to our door and scared me so bad I slammed the door in his face, locked it, and called 911. I have not been so shaken up in my life.

A dear friend of mine shared her thoughts with me on the shaking that is going on. She said she also went through a time of shaking that was from God. I would like to believe, and am choosing to do so, that all of this is part of God’s plan and that I’m going to come out of this on the other side with a bunch of things removed from me that need to be.

Be careful that you do not refuse to listen to the One who is speaking. For if the people of Israel did not escape when they refused to listen to Moses, the earthly messenger, we will certainly not escape if we reject the One who speaks to us from heaven! When God spoke from Mount Sinai his voice shook the earth, but now he makes another promise: “Once again I will shake not only the earth but the heavens also.” This means that all of creation will be shaken and removed, so that only unshakable things will remain. Since we are receiving a Kingdom that is unshakable, let us be thankful and please God by worshiping him with holy fear and awe. For our God is a devouring fire.
Hebrews 12:25-29

Lord, let what remains of me be only unshakable You.

A Vow to the Lord – Part 1

I’m being led in a direction that scares me a little bit. The idea of making a vow to God. (No worries, I’m not thinking of becoming a nun or anything….not even Catholic, and the whole being happily married and a mother probably doesn’t make it viable anyway… LOL)

I have been listening to Beth Moore’s Living Proof radio bible study on the web. The lesson we’ve been on is “Building New Walls” Today’s is subtitled: A Vow: Nailing a Few Things Down.

Then I read this, today on the Ann Arbor Vineyard church website on The Divine Hours:

The Call to Prayer
Let us make a vow to the LORD our God and keep it;* let all around him bring gifts to him who is worthy to be feared.

This post is taking some time. I want to move carefully here. One of my biggest flaws is my desire so badly to get back onto the right path. So, if I think I see the right direction, I just charge off in that new direction – full speed ahead. But sometimes, God may just want to give me a slight course correction by a nudge.

So, I’m making this part 1 of however many it takes for me to get my thoughts out in the right order and give shape to this idea of a vow to God.

Freedom and a new start

“If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed!” (John 8:36)

This is the verse that came to mind this morning as I prayed in bed for God’s strength to get out of bed. It’s the only thing that gave me hope.

“Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He saved them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains. Let them give thanks to the Lord for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for men, vs. 16–for He breaks down the gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron” (Psalm 107:13-16)

From my TLT study this morning. Praise God. He knew exactly what I needed to hear. I was so afraid my rebellion would make me unsavable:

Salvation is for those who have rebelled, those who have gone against the teaching of God’s Word, those who have been in prison to sin.

That’s me! Salvation is for me.

I’ve lost my music…

I realized tonight, as I was updating my interests on my Yahoo 360 page and I was looking at our tower of CDs for artists to add, that I have lost my music.

Personally. Internally.

I’m going to guess that it was the birth of J5 that sidetracked me. Living through those “delightful” first few weeks and months, trying to snag sleep wherever it was to be found.

Actually, now that I think about it, the loss started even earlier. It’s when I started my new job. I work less than 1/4 mile from my workplace. I don’t drive anymore. And when I do, it’s usually only long enough for a song or two.

Yes, that’s what did it.

Well, I WANT IT BACK!!

And I’m starting with Vanessa-Mae.