Summer 2007 Exercise Challenge

Summer 2007 Exercise Challenge LogoMamabright, over at bright like the Son is hosting a Summer 2007 Exercise Challenge between now (started June 3, but you can hop in anytime!) and September 3. I’m in.

As I wrote yesterday, I have started doing Leslie Sansone’s In Home Walking on DVD. So, I’ve written up a loose plan of exercise and set a goal of 80 miles (via the DVD – not IRL) in the next 11 weeks. The DVD that I have has a one-mile and a two-mile plan. I’ve written up a plan that will get the hours in. Oh the fun of Google Spreadsheets!!

This is my progress ticker, linking to the challenge:

May Day Challenge – Weigh In

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketStill loitering at 195. I’ve lost 2 so far, but I have started to be more conscious about moving more. Parking a little further out. Going for a walk in the evening, etc.

So, my “score” is currently: 0/-2 (0 this week, -2 total). As always, my stats are on my progress page. With all my fun tickers!

May Day Challenge – Weigh In

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketFinally! Down 2!

I don’t know if this is normal fluctuation, or success, but I’ll take it! 🙂

May Day Challenge – Weigh In

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketI’m still here. The holiday weekend was full of food and I partook. I tried to think about it differently, but in the end the grazing and chatting happened the same as it always does.

I must say that the same thing happened again. I gained and then I lost right back to the beginning. But I must also say that I have not been actively participating. I think about it strongly in the morning and then by the end of the day, I’m back to my original way of life.

**sigh**

Today is a new day. (And a Tuesday! Hooray for short work weeks!) I got a sneak preview of a devotional, by Elisa, that will be on Faith Lifts this Thursday and it really made an impact with me. I am going to read Believing God again. And hopefully it will sink in further this time.

Have a wonderful Tuesday!

May Day Challenge – Weigh In

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketWell, I am celebrating. Not that I’ve lost, but that I gained within the first two days and then *whew* lost it again.

So, my net change is 0, but I am feeling pretty good. My weight loss tickers are here.

That’s all for my weigh-in discussion for this week. 🙂 See you next week!

Engagement and Accountability

No, I’m not talking about the marital kind of engagement. I’m talking about the mental kind. One of the things I know about myself is that when I am facing stress, especially common stress, and it builds up to the point where I am about to be squished, I disengage. I detach. I hate extreme emotions. They scare me. Funny, even “hate” seems like an extreme emotion, but that’s how I feel about having intense feelings.

I would rather eat until I am numb than feel something that disturbs me. I am afraid I will take action on the feelings. Feelings aren’t real. Emotions are just a disturbance. They happen outside of my happy little world of control. I feel ashamed when I lose control of my emotions and take actions based on them rather than on logic or plan.

So, I do everything in my power to disengage from my feelings. If I can somehow disable them, then I can’t be controlled by them, right?

Funny, I didn’t start out here trying to talk about emotional engagement, but I guess it’s all related. When I am in a funk, and don’t know what to do, I disengage from interaction with any groups that are related to weight loss. I am involved in a couple of Thin Within online groups. I have a few friends who are very involved and give me a lot of encouragement. But when I’m “failing”, when I am not doing what I “should”, I disengage. Which starts the downward spiral into deeper depression.

I’m blogging about this today in response to a friend who has the courage today to blog her “backslide“, and her real state of affairs. I want to be honest. Doing so to the “internets” seems about as “out there” as it can get. I guess seeing how things really are is a first step, yes?

So, I’m attempting to “engage”. I am reaching out for accountability. That’s why I started the May Day Challenge – in an attempt to force my own hand and get me back out there – living – instead of hiding and eating and disengaging.

Gotta run, J5 has a play group in less than half an hour and I have yet to get dressed. Time to “Engage the Day”.

May Day Challenge

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How much weight I want to lose: 65 in total. I don’t have a set goal for the timeframe of this contest. I will lose what God allows me to lose.

My weight history: Yo-yo my whole life. Fen Phen’ed my way down to 135 for my wedding. Up to 210 in 1998. Weigh Down’ed my way down to the 160s in ’99. Back to the 190s after that. Managed to lose weight through a pregnancy in 2005 (thanks to Gestational Diabetes), but proceeded to put on MORE weight AFTER the pregnancy.

My diet: Basic hunger/fullness based on Thin Within. I am part of a couple of Yahoo online groups, and participate in a weekly chat to discuss life the TW way.

Weaknesses? Eating. I use it to get through difficult times. Unfortunately, in my world difficult includes boredom and procrastination. But I will keep going. Perseverance is a gift, and I’m gonna use it!

ETA: My beginning weight: 195.