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On Racism

I’m not sure how to even begin to put words on the page about what has been happening in Ferguson, MO.

As I have followed the live Twitter feeds of people who have been there and are there right now, I have been horrified by the things that people are sharing of what they have experienced.

After watching a few of the witness testimonies, I don’t understand how people can listen to the outright lies certain networks are spewing just to make people feel better, so they can close the case in their minds and move on to the next thing.

I am scared for the direction of our country. I continually read satire posts that I can’t tell from the real thing. (See Poe’s Law.) I just read one satire post showing how we would write about what has been happening in Ferguson if it was happening in a foreign country. It was pretty condemning. What have we become?

We give our small towns leftover military vehicles? Ones meant for warfare? How is this a wise thing?

We talk about placing armed guards in front of our grade schools? How can a higher number of guns be safer? Didn’t we spend the 80s terrified of the arms race and somehow because we had achieved “mutually assured destruction” that made it better? And now we think that doing the same thing at a much less controllable, individual, level this somehow keeps us safer?

Ultimately, I’m just writing this to try to clarify my own perspective. It’s not black and white (you know what I mean!). There are so many different sides to this, it’s mind blowing.

I am heartbroken.
I am scared.
I am sad.

Racism is huge and cancerous, with deep, deep roots that will not be easy to cut and extricate. Sometimes I wonder if it’s even possible, and if it is, how I can possibly make a difference.

I can connect more deliberately with my neighbors of color.

I can speak up and against instances when I see casual and offhand racism happening.

I can be more educated and vary my sources of news, listening to more than a monochromatic and familiar echo chamber of voices, in places like Facebook and Twitter.

I can let myself be heartbroken, and not run from the discomfort when faced with story after story of pain being caused out of habit and lack of awareness.

I can be aware of, and grateful for, the privilege I do have, through no merit of my own.

I can consciously choose to raise my son with a respect for all human life, and the rights and responsibilities that go with it. [This blog post. Seriously.]

I may not be able to change the world, but it’s really important to me that I don’t just block out the things that are unpleasant or uncomfortable, but see reality, be cognizant of my choices, and speak up for what’s right when I am able to do so.



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Things that made me happy today

My FitBit Zip is Happy
My FitBit Zip is Happy

These shoes were made for walkin'...
These shoes were made for walkin’…


“If nobody speaks of remarkable things,
how can they be called remarkable?”

–Jon McGregor

I read this today on one of my favorite blogs, Hands Free Mama. I am being nudged to write more, I think. 🙂


A Time of Transition

If you are seeing this post, you have been successfully directed to the future location of my blog.  The rest of the blog has yet to make its appearance, so please bear with me.  If I can, I’ll try to find an annoying “under construction” animated gif from the ’90s to make it complete!


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Times are changing. Thoughts are changing. Perceptions. Yep. Them too. There’s a stirring going on and I’ve avoided writing because I don’t have any answers. Just many, many questions. But I read a blog yesterday of a person who wrote anyway. If we hide the questioning, aren’t we putting out the idea that we have all the answers?

Why do we need to have all the answers? Why was I trained to never be caught without an answer (and a backup text to prove it). Where did the idea that we have to have all the answers come from? Where did the wonder go?

I don’t have answers. I have personal experience. I have some book learnin’. But mostly I have questions. And they’re not questions that I want answered by someone who “has all the answers”.

I’m scared and excited to allow the “what if…?” bounce around my skull for a while. Time to be ok with some soft answers like “I think…” and “Maybe…” and “It seems like…”.

Does God exist? Do I have any idea what I even mean by the term “God”? How does my soul connect with God? Is my True Self a part of God? Lots of good questions, but I’m not in aggressive pursuit of answers right now, just wandering pursuit.

I’m a little tired of seeking out and arguing over absolutes. I don’t think the world works that way. I don’t think I’m wired to work that way. But that’s ok. I’m going to keep watching, listening, and learning. And if I get it wrong? I’ll change my mind. 🙂

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Justin Kownacki’s New Show — Let’s Pitch In!!!

From the creator of Something To Be Desired:

If you pledge, you can get free stuff! (If they make their goal!)

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What’s with Naperville and TV lately?

Ok, so I live in Naperville. I don’t usually post locations of personal stuff on my blog, but I have to share this:

And then I was watching this episode of Warehouse 13 this afternoon:


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Newsboys (Note: Music WILL play)

Now, I’ve not been a huge fan of the Newsboys in the past. A couple of their singles were fun, but they never seemed to “hit home” like some others (Jeremy Camp, Todd Agnew). Now that they’ve been joined by dcTalk’s Michael Tait, I’ve found that I like a lot more of their songs. Not sure if it’s just the fact that I LOVED dcTalk….

Just hoping that this isn’t a VanHalen plus Gary Cherone thing…

Click HERE to hear some snippets (Removed the widget because I was tired of hearing it every time my blog opened!!)

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Video Review – Diarmaid MacCulloch’s A History of Christianity

A History of Christianity: The First Three Thousand Years
Presented by Diarmaid MacCulloch

Video 1 of this series was provided to me, for review, by The B&B Media group.

My Review
What I liked
  • I was a little disappointed when he said he wouldn’t be addressing Jesus, but I was glad about it as the video progressed. This video is a history of the Christian church as an organization.
  • It was fascinating! I got sucked right in, as I am prone to do with all historical fact shows. It’s weird to me how things can seem so boring by description, but can’t seem to turn it off once I start…
  • Totally agree with his observation about how Western Christianity might do well to take a lesson from the Church of the East, and learn how to LISTEN.
What I didn’t like
  • At first it was a little distracting because all I could think was that he sounded like Stewie from Family Guy, but that faded after 10 minutes or so.
Special Features from the Publisher
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Jib-Jab Star Wars – Starring: The Pinners