Posted in Communication, Family, Intention

Say It Now

Living in real life to me means being unbuffered by the white noise of social media and the hurry/scurry of future events traipsing on the now. It also means having to face the bad stuff head-on as it comes.

And, it means expressing my genuine thoughts and feelings in the moment, rather than trying to save them up for some somehow “more appropriate time”. (This is of course, within reason. Waking your SO up in the middle of the night to discuss wall color options isn’t what I’m talking about.)

It just means living with a little less regret. Taking the extra moments to go give your kid a hug before heading out to get groceries, or kissing your SO for a couple of extra seconds as they head off to work. That’s living in THIS moment, and leaving yourself less exposed to regret in future moments. It doesn’t prevent anything bad from ever happening, but it does bring more awareness and enjoyment to the only period of time you have actual control to make a change…right THIS minute.

Recent family events are bringing this to the forefront of my thoughts. I’m so grateful that I’ve been putting this into practice — acting on the small but truly more important things first, even when the pressure of “the urgent” gets high.

#IRL2017 today means really looking at and seeing the people in front of me and making an active choice to be open and engage them. Real appropriate connections do not disappoint.

Peace and love,

Posted in Family, She's Crafty

Labor of Love: Minecraft Creeper Crocheted Blanket

The Blanket

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The 4-1-1

  • Made with 576 “magic ring” started granny squares (magic ring start reference video below)
  • Sewn together “invisibly” (reference video below)
  • Finished with 4 rounds of single crochet in “Navy”
  • Completed in 10 months (Started in February, took a break for 4 months over summer, restarted in October)
  • Pattern for granny squares – Google Sheets. Sorry, no idea how much yarn I used. I bought a bunch (couple skeins each?) with more of middle green and blues. Had to buy more blues.
  • Questions? Leave a comment, I’ll get back to you.


Magic Ring for Crochet (right-handed version) – by June Gilbank

How to Invisibly Seam Granny Squares – by Lion Brand Yarn

And, just in case you have no idea what a creeper is, it’s a hostile mob (bad guy) in the popular game Minecraft:

Posted in 21 Day Experiment, Family

Thanks – 4 of 21

  1. Good friends for J5
  2. Catching a couple of quick geocaches after lunch
  3. People in the world like Eldad Hagar and Lisa Arturo

(I’m sorely tempted to list J4 and J5 as my first two items every day, but let’s just proceed with the knowledge that they top the list and the rest of these are technically 3, 4, and 5…)

Posted in 21 Day Experiment, Family, Reflection

Thanks – 1 of 21


  1. Seeing the total adoration in J5’s eyes while he plays video games with J4.
  2. A quiet clean home
  3. Time in the evening to work on genealogy.
Posted in Blessings, Family, Intuitive Eating, Reflection

Points to Ponder

Random thoughts this evening:

Boundaries are essential to health. Know them. Establish them. Protect them. They make life so much better.

Intuitive Eating. A new pursuit with nothing to report except I’m well on my way to figuring out what I like and don’t. And the simple act of blogging about it is a trigger that I plan to stay far from in the near future.

I’m madly in love with two people. One I have been married to for almost 19 years, and the other I gave birth to almost 9 years ago. I am so very fortunate, and wise, and proud. I have chosen well, and love much.

Genuine friendships are extremely rare. I don’t have a lot of excess time, nor emotional energy to invest in extraneous friendships. I am realizing I do need more time with those few of great quality and can allow myself to let go of the ones that only drain emotional resources without ever giving enough of a shit to “give back”.

And finally, sleep is so necessary. At night I seem to completely forget that. So now I close…


Posted in Family, Inspiration, Reflection

What are you devoted to?


Devotion is the motion for a world that makes sense.
Jennifer Louden

So, what am I devoted to?

At first thought, I would say I am devoted to my family. I will probably spend some time ruminating on that today, though, before I land on that for certain.

Devotion DFN -love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person, activity, or cause. “Eleanor’s devotion to her husband”; a feeling of strong love or loyalty : the quality of being devoted. : the use of time, money, energy, etc., for a particular purpose
synonyms: loyalty, faithfulness, fidelity, constancy, commitment, adherence, allegiance, dedication;

No, I guess I really don’t need that much time. If I strip away everything else, I keep coming back to my family and home. A significant amount of my time, brain space, and energy is spent towards caring for my husband and son. They’re the first thing I look to when re-centering my priorities.

Second to that is probably my own development. Pushing through and processing to ensure that my own mental, emotional, spiritual, and hopefully soon, physical, health will allow me to be of more help to my family.

In general, what I want most in life to do is…help. I want to be a help. Assisting and care-taking come very naturally to me. However, I am learning that I need to rein some of that in and apply it to myself for a while. If I don’t, I quickly become a martyr and that helps absolutely no one.

The more I attend to my own basic needs, the more I realize that my unhealthy care-taking was a misplaced attempt at earning the right to take care of myself. If I just could get “done” with the chores of helping others, then I would earn the perk or bonus of time for myself. That’s one of those (faulty?) interpretations of the J.O.Y. acrostic I was taught in Sabbath School – Jesus/Others/You is the intended order of priority for my devotion or attention. Just so messed up.

There’s a real downside when you believe in your heart that you’re supposed to serve and love others more than yourself (as better than yourself). The chronic devaluation of a person can never have healthy side effects. Sacrificing your mental and emotional health as the going price for God’s approval and in exchange for eternal safety, well, those days are over.

I can’t honestly say whether I believe in the idea that God’s Spirit is within me, but if it is, that’s how I’m going to be listening to him/it/whatever. I’m going to be listening to my own heart, and doing what I believe to be in my (and my family’s) best interest. I’m ready to stop second guessing myself at every turn.

So what is my devotion? To make this world a better place for my family to live in.

Posted in Family, Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday (on Saturday): Tree

WikiTree - a FREE collaborative single worldwide family tree

Family tree is where my brain goes first. I’m becoming a bit of a genealogy geek lately. I inherited a trove of boxes of papers from my Grandfather, Robert Forman and I think he would be proud of what I have done with it so far. I have been back and forth with my desire to move my research out to the WikiTree project, but that’s a bit risky if I make that my primary source of information. I’m finally realizing the need to control what I have noted as researched fact, and secondarily donate my research for general use via the wiki.

It’s fun to imagine what all these people would think if they realized their facts would be the treasure sought by people down the genealogy tree. Did they have any idea that their basic facts would become gold?

I think it’s important to pass on information to generations down the line. To have some sense of the people you came from. Mostly, though, I do it for the feeling of connection with my Grandfathers, and for all the other people that have passed. To note their existance. To keep them remembered.

That’s what I think of when I think about “tree”. Putting roots down, passing on information. Finding connections with people miles and miles away. It’s just another thing to keep us connected. Recognizing that we come from the same places.

Now that we have DNA testing used in genealogy, it has become even more interesting to dig in and find connections!

For more info on Five Minute Friday:

Five Minute Friday Today’s Topic:
Posted in Family, Meditation

So Much “Help”

Why I prefer to let the dog out of her crate AFTER I meditate in the morning:


Posted in Family, NaBloPoMo

If I could live anywhere…

…it would:

  • have moderate temperatures
  • be near mountains and a lake
  • be just a little ways outside of town
  • have both sets of grandparents within babysitting distance
  • be a cozy place with plenty of nooks to recharge in
  • have enough yard for a garden, a pool, and a jungle gym
  • be with the two great loves of my life, J4 and J5

It’s hard for me to expand my mind to “anywhere” to the fullest extent. I guess if I just let go of the constraints of reality, I would love to travel in space and live on the Enterprise (NCC-1701D).

Writing this evening inspired by the November 2012 NaBloPoMo Writing Prompt:
Friday, November 2, 2012 – If you could live anywhere, where would it be?