Living in real life to me means being unbuffered by the white noise of social media and the hurry/scurry of future events traipsing on the now. It also means having to face the bad stuff head-on as it comes.
And, it means expressing my genuine thoughts and feelings in the moment, rather than trying to save them up for some somehow “more appropriate time”. (This is of course, within reason. Waking your SO up in the middle of the night to discuss wall color options isn’t what I’m talking about.)
It just means living with a little less regret. Taking the extra moments to go give your kid a hug before heading out to get groceries, or kissing your SO for a couple of extra seconds as they head off to work. That’s living in THIS moment, and leaving yourself less exposed to regret in future moments. It doesn’t prevent anything bad from ever happening, but it does bring more awareness and enjoyment to the only period of time you have actual control to make a change…right THIS minute.
Recent family events are bringing this to the forefront of my thoughts. I’m so grateful that I’ve been putting this into practice — acting on the small but truly more important things first, even when the pressure of “the urgent” gets high.
#IRL2017 today means really looking at and seeing the people in front of me and making an active choice to be open and engage them. Real appropriate connections do not disappoint.
Peace and love,
I just love lazy holiday days off.
Snuggling on the couch, watching J5 create Mario levels for his own game.
Drinking coffee + espresso lovingly made by J4 from the new machine!
Re-engaging with a paperback, Zeroes, from an author, Chuck Wendig, I enjoy following on Twitter, @ChuckWendig, and who offered a challenge I can really get behind, Write despite.
This next year will be another year of change. (They all are, but I want to embrace and focus on the concepts of change this year – the good, the bad, and the ugly.) I am going to fight against the bad and ugly. I will accept reality, but I do not have to let certain realities alter me. I will go high when the world around me seems to be going low. I will relax my fear filters and try to let them go altogether. I will speak truth in love. I will be me.
I am grateful for yet another day to experience life in this body, in this place, at this time. There’s nowhere else to be!
Peace and love,
Getting up at 4:45a to go swimming, while not an easy feat, has given me the advantage of some time to myself before the day really “begins”. The hope is that I will eventually remind myself that being a morning person is all around better for me as a functioning being.
The topics of the day have filled me with a growing sense of dread. While yes, I can get triggered by the abundance of fear-inducing current events, even more I’m starting to feel a calm and growing certainty that in the next several years, we will see world and life-altering change that we do not expect and may not be able to prevent once it starts.
As I was driving home from the Y, I had that premonition feeling – you know, like in the post-apocalyptic films and they have a flashback to their “before”. I was feeling like I was watching the road with that “before” vibe. Maybe that’s just called “taking stock”, but today I’m consciously absorbing my surroundings and feeling exceptionally grateful. Gratitude seems to change me from within. So I’m attempting to notice all the positive things I typically whiz by in my day — the soothing whoosh of a functioning air-conditioner, the click-a-click-a-click of Sabian’s nails as she does a patrolling round of the house before schlumping onto my foot while I type.
There’s quite a bit to become alarmed by lately. And there’s a lot of garbage and outright lies. As much as I can find plenty to trigger my righteous indignation, I’m wondering what good it is to point it out to others. I am getting tired of kvetching. If pretty much everyone is just pointing to horrible things to say “that’s bad!”, does anything get better? Is there a tangible thing (or things) I can do to sow seeds to heal the world around me?
I’m going to brainstorm here a minute for things I can do right now:
- Engage with others in conversation. Listen, validate, allow time and space for processing (both for me and them). Not allow fear to push me out of stepping fully in.
- Recognize that in general, a difference of opinion indicates a difference of personality in circumstance. There’s no rule that either one must be “right” while the other must be “wrong”.
- Take the time to discuss in an age-appropriate way, all of the current events we see happening, with my son. Not only is it helpful to him, but the act of summarizing thoughts is mentally clarifying for me. Sometimes I don’t even know what I really think until I hear myself telling J5
- Periodically and regularly take the time to create “in this moment” space to breathe, resettle my mind and spirit into my body, and recognize the good in my life. Just “being” is good. Very good.
- Continue to do “good work” on whatever is at hand — laundry, meal prep, customer service, driving, parenting. All of it.
- Write. I don’t think I have anything better or worse to share than the next person. What I do have is a need to find a healthy response to the chaotic political and social atmosphere here in the US, and in the world. There are a LOT of things happening that are red flags to continuing the way of life as it is today. Maybe with some writing and sharing, and maybe even some conversation, I can find clarity. Clarity is sweet. It’s a high unlike others I’ve experienced.
- Continue to share the good stuff via Social Media. If I’m going to contribute to the noise in the world, at least it can be a song I enjoy.
- Mad by Poorly Drawn Lines
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw
I just read a great post on Ello (via @budnitz) that talked about fear. Feeling it, and getting back to work. I find that a large percentage of my fear is of communication. The unpredictability of others in response to my attempts at communication often causes me to err on the side of silence.
Where this causes me a lot of trouble is in the assumption of others that my silence (or lack of rebuttal) indicates assent, when my listening and nodding actually is to acknowledge the receipt of the information they are trying convey.
What I would like, of course, is for everyone else to change for me! I would like to be ASKED what I think, and listened to while I carefully formulate a response. I would like to not have to push through this wall of fear of having and expressing an opinion that may or may not be received well.
Since I am the only person I can actually change, it’s time to push through the fear of the permanence of words and allow myself to try them out more often. I believe actual communication can change lives. It’s worth pursuing.