There’s a reason the title of this blog, Lundie’s Life resonated with me back when I got started. It’s because it doesn’t have a “theme” or “topic” that would constrain me in the future. It really is the core of my focus. This. Is. My. Life.
With my Mother-In-Law’s illness, and the recent death of acquaintances, I am reminded yet again that this life, and the way I live it is all will ever really “have”. Nothing is permanent. The only thing that I can truly call 100% mine is my life.
Of course that statement immediately triggers a “backlash” thought, a quote from the bible, “You are not your own, you were bought at a price.”1 I don’t believe this is true. I believe I am my own. I don’t have to struggle to be what someone else wants me to be, expects me to be, demands that I be. I just get to…BE. No more constant second guessing, measuring, struggling, losing, and failing to be enough. Enough is enough.
I’m rebuilding my confidence in my ability to “human”. To adult. To woman. To Lundie.
I’m working toward being solidly myself while feeling my feelings, and not reacting to stress in life by eating, hiding, avoiding or burying the emotions that come. Should be interesting. Messy, but interesting.
1. 1 Cor 6:19-20. That verse originally was used to evoke a sense of obligation. Why all the externalizing of motivation? Value was placed because of outside forces (e.g., bought by someone else) rather than a value placed on life itself.↩