Neither depression, nor anxiety are fun topics. I struggle with both. It’s not something I hide, nor is it something I talk about publicly very often.
I have been in regular therapy for a few years now. I have had moments when I feared that maybe someone would try to use that knowledge against me in some way, or worse, their opinion of me would be permanently damaged by knowing I’m “broken” somehow. Now, I feel that “that” kind of person is someone I don’t care to spend much time around. I need authentic people in my life, not those preoccupied with keeping up their “good reputations”.
Sitting here, I can’t say that I have anything huge to reveal. Physical, mental, and emotional health all need attention. If you don’t attend to them, they’ll take you down at the knees. Trust me.
So, things I’m doing right now to stay healthy…I’ve set a bedtime for myself (which I’m now almost 45 minutes past to write this post…). I’ve been reading a lot of good books lately. I’m on sort of a voyage to discover what’s unique about me, how this “Lundie’s Life” looks now, and how I want it to look different. I am starting to change things up a bit.
Therapy has been an integral part of this process. As I type it, it all sounds so pleasant and clinical and proactive. Reality, not so much. Thought it’s been messy, I want people to know that freaking out, feeling ready to give up, being scared to go anywhere or do anything — these are all normal feelings to have at one time or another. They shouldn’t become a destination. Once I started to realize that was how I was spending a large portion of my time, I knew some help to get headed in a different direction. And thankfully, I was able to find someone who listens well, and asks the right questions.
The changes are still coming. Bits at a time. New job here. Less hair there. Can’t wait to see what’s next!