What does real friendship look like?
This week’s recurring topic seems to be “What makes a person a ‘friend’?”. Just because someone has had the “friend” designation in the past, it does not mean they automatically keep the title for life. “A friend from High School” may not just identify when we became friends, but it could also indicate the lifespan of the friendship.
In my book, a friend:
- asks you how you are doing, then they actually wait and listen for your answer!!
- says “hey” once in a while, just ’cause
- casually interacts with you via social media (if they partake), no drama needed
- doesn’t think of you as a “one stop pep talk” and then go back to their “real life” when they feel better
The old saying, “The only way to have a friend is to be one”, rings more and more true with me. Friendship is a two-way street. I am under no obligation to be a friend to “needy” people. (Please note: “Needy people” are quite different than people who need a friend.) Needy people don’t recognize that genuine friends (those who listen, support, and love) might actually want a friend in return.
While I don’t want to be too “transaction-al” in friendship, I am closing up the 24/7 friendship pit-stop for those who show up, take my time and emotional energy, and then disappear again.
Guess I’d better spend some time considering whether I treat anyone in my life that way too…that would really suck!