I started to clear my mind to focus on this word I’ve chosen to free my mind and words on, and became unexplicably sad. Sad that there are “lasts”. This mortal life has firsts and lasts. Unless you believe there’s more later, but even then, you cannot revisit any moment, and thus this will always be the last of THIS moment.
Not sure if it’s the reflections of depression or just a mood today. But I suppose it could be turned around. This word could be resolve. This is the last time I will take a drag on a cigarette…or the last time I eat myself numb instead of making a change.
It can also be good. Relationships that last. Endurance. So how can this word be such an opposite of itself. The last time and things that last and last. Interesting.
I have nothing left to say. Words dried up. 5 minutes may have been too long. But I will continue to prime the pump of my writing. Even if it’s with these contrived writing times. It’s worth it to keep going. To free write. Any other thoughts on last? Sadness at being the least fast runner/walker. But there’s some pride in completion, even if it’s dead last. Sometimes, that has to be good enough. Sometimes it really IS enough. Coming in last means I tried. And that is better than not at all.