NaBloPoMo for December 4, 2012

NaBloPoMo Question of the Day
Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Do you feel most comfortable being a leader, a follower, or a collaborator?


Honestly, my most comfortable place is a 2nd-ish in command. I want to be “in the know”, and have collaborative input, but don’t want to be “in charge”. I don’t feel I’m a visionary, able to create the picture in the midns of others of something that is not yet tangible. I want to be able to assist the visionary, to “make it so”, to work to put the rubber to the road, to collaborate with the “men on the ground” to figure out how to DO the work.




NaBloPoMo December 2012
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Experiment Day 3(.1): Packing Party

No fancy links today. No quotes. Just a semi-journal entry. Today was a busy day. It felt good. I woke up with hope. A day off to do home stuff. I’m amazed sometimes at how my mind can be everywhere, running me through a wide range of emotions. No wonder I’m exhausted all the time. Today I realized that it’s a side effect of multi-tasking.

If you could see what goes on in my brain while just walking through my house, you’d get tired. I see clutter on the coffee table and each item gets added to the “put that stuff away sometime soon” list, and the simple existence of that list is a huge burden of ongoing responsibility and guilt, rather than simply being a thing I need to do.

I’ve started putting things on my GTasks list as they pop in my head, and today I tried to clear my brain of all other distractions (like surfing FB on my phone and having the TV on while doing things around the house). Simply having JUST my computer on was even hard. I even went for a walk and didn’t listen to music or surf my phone (mostly). It was hard. I really wasn’t aware just how much overload I voluntarily jack myself into.

So, this experiment thing is still happening. I found myself making different choices with things like clearing the kitchen counter after breakfast instead of leaving the dishes for me to clean up “later”. I’ve sort of been in a “do it now” mode. If the choice to “do it now” would distract me too much from something else I’m already doing, it goes on the GTasks list. When the current thing was done, then I’d check the list for the next important thing. Yeah, it’s been a good day.

Mission Accomplished (mostly)

On my list for today was packing up the bookshelves and my closet. Neither of these things happened. I’m ok with it. I’m not derailed. I’m just realistic and have my priorities. I guess that’s probably what Day 2 was for anyway – planning. Honest planning would have recognized that I already had top priority things scheduled for today. Things like meal planning, grocery getting, Christmas tree repairing and decorating, etc.

I did manage to take one of the bags of clothes from my closet into the spare bedroom. It’s a start. I have many bags of clothes in my closet, grouped by similar sizes. Removing these will be a good thing. They aren’t current. I won’t be unpacking any of them for some time. I suspect I will go through them to recover only the very best of the bunch, give the rest away, and will choose to purchase new clothes should my body size change significantly enough to warrant it. Old smaller clothes are only sentimental, not sensible, unless I truly love them. And they are just sitting there as shame piles pointing out my continued failure to lose weight. Good riddance.

I only spent about 30 seconds looking at the bookshelf, pulled out two books and put them in a basket to carry away. The distress I felt just doing that signaled the end of that plan. I knew this was probably a poor first choice for my experiment in packing. Books are my first love. Late nights, flashlights under the covers, hours and hours of adventure with my books. I’ve done book purges before. Each time letting go of a few more (mostly to make room for newer ones). But this time before I let them go I do want to catalog them (via Goodreads) as having been owned and read by me. Even if I don’t keep them, I still want to log and review them. So, the bookshelves will probably take a back seat to some of the other areas (clothes and kitchen stuff) that are probably in a more dire need of purging anyway.

Stay tuned.


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