Legalism and Me

[Cross posted from my SoulRevolution.net mini-blog. Currently on day 28 of the 60-60 Experiment.]

I want to be perfect. I want God to love me because I earned it. I want to be entitled to all kinds of good things because I worked hard and did a good job.

There is a whole lot of hurt in these wants of mine. They’re not the way the world really works. Not God’s world. God’s world is completely different. I didn’t realize that getting into this Experiment would not always be blissful. There’s some pain involved.

I have always had this attitude of – just tell me what to do and I’ll go do it. I don’t like to be corrected, so if I sense I’m doing something not right or not good enough, I want to go fix it before you can lecture me on it.

I think that’s one of the harder things about being raised in the church, and in a conservative religion. I got no real “conversion” experience. No newly discovered relationship. God’s been a very familiar and pre-set entity. His expectations are set. I wasn’t taught relationship. I have a lot to learn…

2 thoughts on “Legalism and Me

  1. wow Lundie, powerful post! “I didn’t realize that getting into this Experiment would not always be blissful. There’s some pain involved.” I have often told Travis that my take on spirituality may perhaps be a convenience I’ve worked out. I look at life as a series of lessons to learn from, pain as education, something I needed to know in order to achieve the person and the spirit I came here to be, to transition to the next stage. I was raised in a rapid series of churches- my mom was raised baptist by a catholic mom and a atheist dad, my dad was raised strict southern baptist- they passed along some of the mental strictness without actually passing on the religion. I have no idea what it’s like to grow up with a church community and have that pre-set relationship- definite food for thought for the day! thanks!

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