What do I want? What is stopping me from going after it? Fear? Fear of failure? Fear that if I pursue something I want and it’s not God’s will, then it’s doomed to fail. So…why do anything unless it’s got God’s stamp of approval.

Yeah, that’s what my life’s about. Blaming my lack of pursuit of anything on God not giving me the visual thumbs up.

God, please show yourself in a way that leaves me without doubt that you are speaking to me. I’m so terribly afraid that I have ignored you for so long that I won’t get to hear you. Or that I will just dismiss what you have told me because it isn’t what I want to hear.

What am I afraid of? Failure? Wasting effort. That angers me most of all. Expending precious energy and having it be worthless. Striving. I hate striving.

God, help me. Please bring clarity to my mind and heart. Help me to see what ever time and truth I may be in. Help me make today worth the effort of living.

Tell me when I’m gonna live again
Tell me when this fear will end


Take it all. Everything. I don’t have any answers within me. I want to have the truth. I want to know the truth. I want to walk in truth. Help me.

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