It’s OVER!

I have had a change of heart. And mind. And I’m really excited to see where God is leading me on this: I am abstaining from food. I am quitting food cold turkey.

Ok, so not REALLY….but yet I am.

I have, on multiple occasions, complained to my husband how much easier it was to quit smoking than it is to control my eating. I smoked for over 5 years, and when I quit, I just quit. I was on the way to the doctor’s office and knew that he would once again badger me about smoking. So, on the way there I had one last cigarette. Cashed it out, and said I’d quit. Initially, I did it just so I could tell him that I’d quit, but that really was the end for me. Three days of physical withdrawal, and I was good to go.

Food. Not so simple.

After reading the last couple of posts on Heidi’s blog, I was painfully impacted with God telling me to get off the scale. It was something Heidi said –

“Because the scale stayed at a certain weight, I justified eating even when not hungry…and since I was eating when not hungry, I felt compelled to “keep on top of things” by weighing. Both are reflective of a heart not heeding the voice of the Spirit!”

So, my first change is to get off the scale. I realized that I was using the scale as my “how am I doing” in the hopes that it would be my positive influence. All it really did was judge me daily and find me lacking. I wasn’t using any restraint during the day when I needed it.

And the second change? Much bigger. It’s a new attitude of fasting. When I quit smoking, and got the craving, I would work to distract myself. I wouldn’t sit and visualize smoking, and pout about not being able to smoke, and talk to others about how horrible it was to not smoke. I just put up a wall in my mind about it. I was done smoking. Temptation be gone!

I’m trying this about food. I want to have a mindset of fasting. My relationship with food is over. No more thinking about eating, or pouting about not being able to eat, or talk and talk and talk about how much I miss eating and how hard it is to not eat. I’m done. 0 is my friend.

But lest anyone freak out about this – I am not fostering anorexia. I am letting God feed me.

I will prepare healthy meals for my husband and son. I will plan and buy food for their benefit. And when my body is hungry, I will give it small amounts of healthy items just to make the hunger feelings go away. But I’m done with the love of food. It honestly, truly, has been an idol in my life. I have had secret affairs with it for years and years. The only way to put away sin is to turn my back. I am done with food.

I will eat what God allows me to eat. I will be thankful and enjoy whatever he permits. But I am done preparing anything for myself. And if I get antsy during the withdrawal period, I have God – the TRUE food – and plenty of water to drink!

4 thoughts on “It’s OVER!

  1. I know how hard this is Lundie. Many ex smokers know that when you quit smoking, food replaces it. I’m here to support you through this. I found that the South Beach Diet MUST be how God always intended for us to eat. It’s really not a *diet*, but rather a healthy eating lifestyle of healthy foods. When you follow it right, you never feel hungry and the meals are always satisfying. There’s a support group on line for it and all the info is on their board for free. South Beach Board

  2. I’m glad the South Beach way has worked for you, but I’m a Thin Within kind of gal. 🙂 I don’t know if you’ve ever read Thin Within, by Judy & Arthur Halliday, or done the Setting Captives Free study called The Lord’s Table. They’re both a spiritual approach to eating God’s way. Listening to what my body calls for – allowing my hunger signals to do what they’re supposed to do. Tell me it’s time to eat! And then not eat again until I receive that message from my body.

    I just recently came to the sickening realization that I have been in love with food for way too long. Breaking up is hard to do, but when you have a New Love, it’s not so bad. God’s got my heart now! 🙂

    Blessings.

  3. Oh, Lundie. I wish you all of the luck in the world! You really hit me hard with this post. I feel that food and weight is a battle that I will never win. I am very weak in this area and I’m not sure that God can help me gain the strength I’d need to conquer the habit. I’ll pray for you!

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