Self-reliance, pride and other things

Well, I got another flash of revelation from my Heavenly Father this evening. I asked in my last post what all this loitering in my weight meant. God’s letting me see how successful I am when I go it alone. You see, I’m a very, very stubborn girl. I don’t want to be helped. I want to prove myself. I want to be worthy. I don’t want to *owe* anyone. Ever. I hate being indebted. With a passion.

But I need to love Him more. More than my pride. More than my self-sufficiency. I need to trust him with the same intensity that I defend myself. And I need to get over myself. I DO owe God. I AM indebted to Him. I just need him to impress upon me what I really have. He’s not the source of my guilt and my heavy heart. That would be compliments of the accuser.

What I do get is forgiveness and love, even when I boldly and willfully charge off in the direction that I want to go, instead of in the direction He’s trying to gently lead me.

O God, you know how foolish I am;
      my sins cannot be hidden from you.
Ps. 69:5

So, I once again reach up, Father, and ask you to lift me up out of this mud. Show me how to let go of “my way”, and see yours clearly. I don’t want to wander off anymore. Amen.

One thought on “Self-reliance, pride and other things

  1. Awesome!!! I’m so in this same place and have been killing sin in my life. It can be so easy to walk in pride because it seems as if it’s ok and other will back us up on it. But when we mirror ourselves with the word of God His word will show us ourselves everytime and I’m so grateful for that and grateful for this blog as a reminder.

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