This morning was an UGH. I have been weighing every morning again. I know that others in my various TW groups have been convicted to weigh less, but for right now, I feel this is the right thing for me…but this morning’s weigh-in made me sad. Up two pounds. And I thought I was doing ok. Of course dinner last night was chinese food. I’m feeling pretty bloated actually, so I’m hoping with all my might that it’s water weight gain…
Last night I did have another run-in with my nemesis…the uber-big bag of MnMs. I went to the pantry for a late night snack last night and there it was…an almost empty bag. So, I grabbed the whole thing and sat down at my computer to surf ‘n’ munch. That’s when I saw, in the top right corner of the package: XXL.
A couple of days ago, I was at Sam’s Club doing some of our bulk shopping and I was looking at clothes. As I was poking through one display for my size, I kept coming across those labeled “S”. My self conversation went something like this, “Yeah, like I have ever been in an “S”…Who wears an “S”? People who are short…little people.”
Then the loudest thought hit me….”You’re supposed to be an ‘S'”.
You see, I’m only 5’ 3″. Not excessively short, but certainly not tall by any standards. So for the last few days I have had this thought running thorough my mind…I was meant to be an “S”. God designed my body to be much, much smaller than it is. I know that just about every woman in America believes she should be thinner and whatnot, but this is the first time I feel God was telling me that is his plan for me. I finally “got it” in my heart, not just my vanity and pride.
Wow. I’ve got some changing to do. And I think for a time it will mean getting rid of the XXL-inducing things in my life.