I am…forgiven

“I am forgiven all my sins and washed in the blood” TW 125

He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins.
Ephesians 1:7

I am forgiven. If you’ve been reading my blog at all, you’ll see that I have been struggling with this concept. Forgiveness.

Since this (Christ’s crucifixion) happened in the past, it was for all my sins. Ever. Not only the ones that I committed before I realized that he forgave me, and then none after. It actually means ALL my sins, past, present and future are forgiven. Am I getting this right?

I think my struggles with forgiving others really requires me to focus more on the practice of accepting God’s forgiveness than it does working to let go of hurt from others. I think I have kept my self “on the hook” for all of my missteps, and therefore feel the need to make sure that no one else is let “off the hook” prematurely. And that is wrong. In fact, I think it ends up making it a never ending cycle. I don’t feel or acknowledge my forgiveness, so I don’t forgive others, so God can’t forgive me. (Matt. 6:14-15).

So, I guess it doesn’t matter what comes first. I’m here now. I am choosing to forgive (and therefore not “refusing to forgive”) those whom I have “kept record of wrongs” on. And that choice enables God to forgive me. And with that, I am forgiven. I may not feel super fresh or clean, but I am going to remind myself of the fact of my forgiven state as often as possible.

Also, there is a difference between feeling hurt again from something someone has done, and refusing to forgive. One is a unfortunate side effect of being human and being vulnerable, and the other is a choice. I am going to err on the side of sensitive today. And let God do the protecting and healing.