May Day Challenge – Weigh In

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at PhotobucketI’m still here. The holiday weekend was full of food and I partook. I tried to think about it differently, but in the end the grazing and chatting happened the same as it always does.

I must say that the same thing happened again. I gained and then I lost right back to the beginning. But I must also say that I have not been actively participating. I think about it strongly in the morning and then by the end of the day, I’m back to my original way of life.

**sigh**

Today is a new day. (And a Tuesday! Hooray for short work weeks!) I got a sneak preview of a devotional, by Elisa, that will be on Faith Lifts this Thursday and it really made an impact with me. I am going to read Believing God again. And hopefully it will sink in further this time.

Have a wonderful Tuesday!

I’m over at Faith Lifts today – “About That Pride”

It’s Monday, so I’m over here


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About That Pride

Pride. It has always been a problem for me, but I found some additional characteristics of pride in my reading this morning that is revealing that it’s much more widespread in my life than I had originally thought. And that makes me terribly sad…but I have hope that I can acknowledge it and choose God’s way and let him change me….

Read the rest of this devotional at A Group Blog for Christian Moms

One Thousand Gifts – Part 50

  • 386. A perfectly beautiful day spent with really good friends.
  • 387. Being married to my best friend, who is a simply wonderful human being.

XXL

XXL M & M'sThis morning was an UGH. I have been weighing every morning again. I know that others in my various TW groups have been convicted to weigh less, but for right now, I feel this is the right thing for me…but this morning’s weigh-in made me sad. Up two pounds. And I thought I was doing ok. Of course dinner last night was chinese food. I’m feeling pretty bloated actually, so I’m hoping with all my might that it’s water weight gain…

Anyway…

Last night I did have another run-in with my nemesis…the uber-big bag of MnMs. I went to the pantry for a late night snack last night and there it was…an almost empty bag. So, I grabbed the whole thing and sat down at my computer to surf ‘n’ munch. That’s when I saw, in the top right corner of the package: XXL.

Close up on XXL

A couple of days ago, I was at Sam’s Club doing some of our bulk shopping and I was looking at clothes. As I was poking through one display for my size, I kept coming across those labeled “S”. My self conversation went something like this, “Yeah, like I have ever been in an “S”…Who wears an “S”? People who are short…little people.”

Then the loudest thought hit me….”You’re supposed to be an ‘S'”.

You see, I’m only 5’ 3″. Not excessively short, but certainly not tall by any standards. So for the last few days I have had this thought running thorough my mind…I was meant to be an “S”. God designed my body to be much, much smaller than it is. I know that just about every woman in America believes she should be thinner and whatnot, but this is the first time I feel God was telling me that is his plan for me. I finally “got it” in my heart, not just my vanity and pride.

Wow. I’ve got some changing to do. And I think for a time it will mean getting rid of the XXL-inducing things in my life.

One Thousand Gifts – Part 49

  • 381. J5 in the swimming pool
  • 382. Holiday weekends
  • 383. Naptime on Saturdays
  • 384. Hearing J4 and J5 playing in the other room. (I know, this one has made frequent appearances in this list…it’s just my #1 favorite sound in the whole world.)
  • 385. Projects that improve the look and feel of our home.

I am…forgiven

“I am forgiven all my sins and washed in the blood” TW 125

He is so rich in kindness and grace that he purchased our freedom with the blood of his Son and forgave our sins.
Ephesians 1:7

I am forgiven. If you’ve been reading my blog at all, you’ll see that I have been struggling with this concept. Forgiveness.

Since this (Christ’s crucifixion) happened in the past, it was for all my sins. Ever. Not only the ones that I committed before I realized that he forgave me, and then none after. It actually means ALL my sins, past, present and future are forgiven. Am I getting this right?

I think my struggles with forgiving others really requires me to focus more on the practice of accepting God’s forgiveness than it does working to let go of hurt from others. I think I have kept my self “on the hook” for all of my missteps, and therefore feel the need to make sure that no one else is let “off the hook” prematurely. And that is wrong. In fact, I think it ends up making it a never ending cycle. I don’t feel or acknowledge my forgiveness, so I don’t forgive others, so God can’t forgive me. (Matt. 6:14-15).

So, I guess it doesn’t matter what comes first. I’m here now. I am choosing to forgive (and therefore not “refusing to forgive”) those whom I have “kept record of wrongs” on. And that choice enables God to forgive me. And with that, I am forgiven. I may not feel super fresh or clean, but I am going to remind myself of the fact of my forgiven state as often as possible.

Also, there is a difference between feeling hurt again from something someone has done, and refusing to forgive. One is a unfortunate side effect of being human and being vulnerable, and the other is a choice. I am going to err on the side of sensitive today. And let God do the protecting and healing.

Am I Hungry?

Ok, so I really suck at blogging lately. I have thoughts I want to write about but then get sidetracked by one of the other billion or so things that are going on either in my head or in real life. Having a toddler will do that to you.

But the reason I am blogging right now is because Heidi inspired me to just write. I forget that it doesn’t have to be a full blown article with pictures and points. It doesn’t even have to be inspirational. Ha.

So, I’m just going to ramble for a while.

Today I decided to simplify my approach to food and eating. I will ask myself one simple question and it requires a simple “yes” or “no” answer. Am I hungry? If no, do not eat. If yes, eat.

It seems simple, doesn’t it. Almost too simple? Yeah. But how many times do I ask the question of myself but allow answers other than “yes” to mean yes?

Am I hungry? Well, sort of, I mean, I’m not full, so that sort of counts, right? (Real answer: No.)

Am I hungry? It’s dinner time and my family is assembled and the food is ready, so I’m ready to eat. (Real answer: No.)

Am I hungry? I am finally getting some me time – I want to do something that will make me feel good, relaxed, pampered, unstressed. (Real answer: No.)

So, I leave myself (and anyone else who happens to be reading) with the following:

Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.
Matthew 5:37

The Little Things

Ann, over at Holy Experience wrote a wonderful post today that I hope you take the time to read.

I am…God’s child

“I am God’s child for I am born again of the incorruptible seed of the Word of God which lives and abides forever.” TW p125

For you have been born again, but not to a life that will quickly end. Your new life will last forever because it comes from the eternal, living word of God.
1 Peter 1:23

Well, to be honest, this one is starting out a little dry for me. I think I need to read some of the context.

Verse 21 says, “Through Christ you have come to trust in God. And you have placed your faith and hope in God because he raised Christ from the dead and gave him great glory.”

Christ is the connect to God. It is my acceptance of the gift of Christ’s death that puts this all in to action. It’s honestly hard for me to read and truly *feel* anything about being born again, as I was raised “in the church” and so I don’t have a powerful conversion experience, or any one event or timeline that shows the “before Christ” and “after Christ” Lundie.

That doesn’t mean I am excluded. It does not mean I am not born again. It just means I will need to study and understand and contemplate it more, I think. I do believe in Christ and what he did to save me. I have been given a new life. I want to be converted to this new being. I know that I already *am* this new being, but I want my outsides to reflect it as well.

My new life has its source in the Word of God, so the more I am in it, the more my new being will be fed.