Who is my judge?

This morning I got up, as I always do, and weighed. My weight is the same as yesterday.

I should be celebrating, but it has cast a shadow over my morning. I am well aware of general body fluctuations that will affect the scale. I’ve been monitoring my weight for enough years, that a little jump up doesn’t bother me. But the trend that I have been having is not experiencing a little plateau. The plateau I am on has lasted for YEARS.

When I was participating in the Weigh Down Workshop and I was actively losing weight, I stopped doing my daily weighing and weighed weekly. The idea was to stop letting the scale be my judge and let my obedience guide me instead.

Then I read Body Clutter by Marla Cilley and she advocates daily weighing.

I LIKE the daily weighing for one very completely geeky reason. I like to chart my weight. It has nothing to do with my weight. I am overjoyed by the statistical nature of the data. And if what I am tracking is my weight, and it is having a downward trend, then I have all the more reason to celebrate!

When I was in Weigh Down, I lost weight. Fast. I was excited. I was rejuvenated. I was thrilled with my success. I am jealous for those times. I am discouraged. I want out of this pit. I want this visible demonstration of my sin off my body.