Not a clue what I’m doing

I started this third blog. I wanted to have a place to talk about my unhealthy relationship with food. A place that wouldn’t clutter up my other writing. Right now I’m at a blank as to what would be good for me here. Mostly, I’m just sad. I did really well with my eating today, right up until dinner.

As I was eating my soup and cornbread, I got to the point where I knew I should quit. But it tasted so good. I had the same battle that I have had for years and years. The point comes where I am to stop eating. The lure of the food is stronger than my desire to do the “right thing”.

It took me three or four huge greedy eat-them-quick-before-I-obey bites to stop. Who am I kidding? As if I eat faster I won’t feel guilty and God will let them slide as “within the obedience window”. Ridiculous.

One thing I have now is hope. Hope in God. Hope that my lifetime history with the pit won’t mean that I’m a permanent resident. Hope from the book I read.

The problem is, life on Planet Earth consists of one crisis after another. Beloved, this I promise you. Circumstances will offer unceasing invitations back to the pit. If our souls had no enemy, life on clay feet would still be hard. But the fact is we do have an emey, and he formulates one scheme after another. He knows how to trip your switch. He finds your Achilles’ heel, and that’s where he aims his darts. And if he’s anything at all, he’s a great shot.

You can insulate yourself from the temptation for only so long. At some point you have to get out there, plant your own two feet upon that rock, and resist. Once, then twice. Ten times, then twenty-five. Thirty times, then fifty till your flesh submits and your enemy gives up on that front and quits. Sooner or later, relying on the power of Christ acting through you, you’re going to have to face your foe and win. You can’t just run from him and hid, because he’ll keep showing up wherever you go.
Get Out Of That Pit! Page 164

As I was typing out that quote, I realized I want to re-read this book and use the study guide in the back. That will probably direct a lot of my posts for a while. Mostly, I’m writing to myself and to God, but if you’re here with the need to have a friend for the same journey – then welcome! And God bless you.