Christian Women Online have a special feature called “In Other Words” where they post a quote and take turns hosting the Mr. Linky for people to blog about the quote. The quote for this past Friday was this from C.S. Lewis:
“Every time you make a choice you are turning the central part of you, the part of you that chooses, into something a little different from what it was before…either into a creature that is in harmony with God,…or into one that is in a state of war with God. Each of us at each moment is progressing to the one state or the other.”
C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity
I am so completely ashamed. Today was a charge towards a state of war. Towards hardening my heart. Towards practicing my will completely. I don’t know what went wrong. My morning started out so wonderfully. J5 slept in and I had the chance to spend some time in my Bible just reading and learning about God. I did something different as I was reading the scriptures. I read it to see not what I should be doing, but what the verse taught me about God.
I am fairly certain that the underlying reason that I don’t obey the way I need to is because I don’t really trust God and what he says. I think it’s almost worth a re-read of Beth Moore’s Believing God. That book addresses this exact problem. I’ve posted several times about it on my random wander site – as I was reading that book a while back. Not enough of it stuck, I guess.
Tomorrow is another day and I am desperately needing those mercies of His that are new… I want to take the next right step TOWARDS Him.