Faith and Medicine

Where does faith end and medicine begin? Or can I have both?

I chose yesterday, after fighting increasing depression over the past several days, to start taking my Zoloft prescription again. It’s practically the lowest dose I can take (it’s the lowest they make it in). But now I seem to struggle with another dilemma.

Is use of medication a lack of faith?

I took my son to the doctor this past weekend because he had a fever. I gave him Tylenol and we also got antibiotics to fight his ear infection.

Was this a lack of faith? Or the act of a responsible parent?

Depression isn’t the same as an ear infection.

Is the fact that I am even questioning all this a stronger indication of my lack of faith?

I believe God CAN heal me of any and every disease, ailment, illness. But do I believe He WILL? No. This has been a struggle of mine for ages. It all comes down to whether I believe God loves me. Whether I believe He loves me as much as I love my son. Whether I believe that He is working out His will in my life.

I just read the Beth Moore book, Believing God. It was really good. But I haven’t been putting into action the things she described. One of those things was to remind myself of these 5 things:

  • I believe God is who He says He is
  • I believe God can do what He says He can
  • I believe I am who God says I am
  • I believe I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength
  • I believe God’s word is alive and working in me

I am afraid these must not be true. I am scared. I am lonely. I am depressed. These things affect everything I think and do. I am taking the Zoloft to see if it will help clear away some of the fog. I want to be full of faith and trust. I guess at this point I feel like it’s the responsible thing to use the tools (medications) I have been given. If I don’t, I’m just more confused, struggling harder against something I’ve already been given the tools to fight.

Or am I just rationalizing. You know, sometimes it’s a real curse to be able to see both sides of every argument that is before me…

One thought on “Faith and Medicine

  1. No, Lundie, You are *not* just rationalizing. It’s *okay*!

    Personally, I can tell you when I begin to slip that reaching out for God is near impossible. The medication doesn’t make my need for Him any less, or my need to call out to Him any less. But it does clear my head so I can immerse myself in His word when, otherwise, I could barely read the back of a cereal box.

    I’m so sorry you are feeling so lonely. But, oh, how I understand.

    Praying for you, Lundie!

    In Christ alone,
    Kari

Comments are closed.