Where does faith end and medicine begin? Or can I have both?
I chose yesterday, after fighting increasing depression over the past several days, to start taking my Zoloft prescription again. It’s practically the lowest dose I can take (it’s the lowest they make it in). But now I seem to struggle with another dilemma.
Is use of medication a lack of faith?
I took my son to the doctor this past weekend because he had a fever. I gave him Tylenol and we also got antibiotics to fight his ear infection.
Was this a lack of faith? Or the act of a responsible parent?
Depression isn’t the same as an ear infection.
Is the fact that I am even questioning all this a stronger indication of my lack of faith?
I believe God CAN heal me of any and every disease, ailment, illness. But do I believe He WILL? No. This has been a struggle of mine for ages. It all comes down to whether I believe God loves me. Whether I believe He loves me as much as I love my son. Whether I believe that He is working out His will in my life.
I just read the Beth Moore book, Believing God. It was really good. But I haven’t been putting into action the things she described. One of those things was to remind myself of these 5 things:
- I believe God is who He says He is
- I believe God can do what He says He can
- I believe I am who God says I am
- I believe I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength
- I believe God’s word is alive and working in me
I am afraid these must not be true. I am scared. I am lonely. I am depressed. These things affect everything I think and do. I am taking the Zoloft to see if it will help clear away some of the fog. I want to be full of faith and trust. I guess at this point I feel like it’s the responsible thing to use the tools (medications) I have been given. If I don’t, I’m just more confused, struggling harder against something I’ve already been given the tools to fight.
Or am I just rationalizing. You know, sometimes it’s a real curse to be able to see both sides of every argument that is before me…