Brokenness

The TLT study for today was on brokenness. That’s a really good word to describe how I’ve been feeling as of late. Crushed, demolished, obliterated.

But I think there are two ways this can go. God allows us to be broken, in order that he can soften and plant and grow us. I have the option to run away and lick my wounds, or I can cooperate in this process.

It’s so tempting to once again try to rely on my own strength, to bolster my courage and try to drum up the strength on my own. But that would be insane. I think I need to be quiet for a time. God yanked my rug and I’ve landed firmly on my backside. Before I go running off again in my own direction, I feel the need to stay a while and just check out my surroundings.

I know I have SO much to learn. I am astounded by my lack of wisdom in the area of eating and self-control. My lack of obedience.

I was flipping around in my Bible this morning, looking for some comfort, but all I was finding was direction on how to live a Christ-filled life. It was all exhausting to me, seeing all the outpouring of myself for others that is requested/required.

I couldn’t find anything that was of comfort to me. Anything that would tell me that I’m going to be ok. That I am going to be taken care of.

Then it occurred to me – I need to obey. All of the benefits that are promised are tied directly to obedience. THAT is the path to joy, and comfort and fulfillment. Why is that so hard for me to get my head around? Self-control. It’s a gift. It’s obedience. Time for me to get on with it!!